Welcome to ‘The Sophisticated Clydesdale.’ Thanks for
stopping by. I do hope everyone sticks around, because I’m going to try and do
my best to provide content that you enjoy reading, or at least, I’m going to
try and provide something that doesn’t drive you to openly shun me, report to
all your friends that this blog is complete shit, and then wind up banishing me
to the no click zone, where my page views never break 100 and I constantly pine
for the good ol’ days where I thought getting 8 hits validated me as a human
being.
This is the very cliché and proper moment in any start up
endeavor, when I suppose I post my MISSION
STATEMENT, and let the dear readers, many of whom (but not all, mind you) I
hope enjoy getting on two self-propelled wheels and dodging 4 ton gas powered
idiot boxes and genetically enhanced, fear detecting, cyclist devouring four
legged fur beasts, understand just why I am doing this extremely vain act of self-validation.
It is because:
- I'm chunky style, and I’m trying to lose weight. A lot of it. I need an outlet to help me process this act, keep the motivation up, and enjoy the ride. I’m a true Clydesdale, and you could possibly call me a pachyderm, but let’s be honest, ‘The Sophisticated Pachyderm’ just doesn’t have the right zing to it.
- I’m doing this by utilizing The Little Trek That Could, the love and support of my partner (I won’t call her girlfriend, because that sounds completely juvenile, and we don’t get the tax breaks to rate the term ‘wife’) and dieting. This will help me share my thoughts with her, and one day, when my bike is old enough to read, it can look back on these posts and see what daddy thought of it in those first blissful and crazy moments.
- Hopefully, this will also help me understand, discover, and chat about the NOLA biking community, what opportunities there exists out there for friendship, camaraderie, fun or competitive rides, and what free beer is attached to those fun or competitive rides.
- I’m a writer, so I write, and right now, I feel like writing about THE BIKE, people who love to ride THE BIKE, and the amazing and completely stupid things that happen in this city while dealing with THE BIKE and all Its wonderful idiosyncrasies.
Just to be clear, when I type THE BIKE, I’m not referencing
one bike, or all of our bikes in specific. No, I’m referring to our benevolent,
yet chaotic two wheeled god. Yes, Christians have Jesus, Jews have Yahweh, and
now we have THE BIKE. Every god needs a name. Ours is no different. Otherwise,
how would he/she get our prayer mails? Prayers with the incorrect address get
sent back to the prayer post office, and once that happens, chances are your
missive of devotion will get kicked out of heaven or whatever afterlife night
club you ascribe to. Everyone knows this.
So, hop on your bike, strap on whatever kit you wear, make
sure your water bottle is full and turn on your Strava. It’s an easy pace, and
we’ll be stopping often. I hope you come along for the ride.
All hail THE BIKE!
Next up: The hills
have eyes, and I hate them.
